TODAY ON TV
5.00pm Come Dine With Me
Samantha and Dave cook up a storm with a special meal dedicated to their favourite millionaires. Menu includes Stuffed Vegetables, Toadies in the Hole, Donor Kebabs, and Eton Mess.
6.00pm Embarrassing Bodies
Episode 666: Parliament A team of experts answers questions about assorted distressing conditions caused by House of Commons parasites, including the current epidemic of incursio secretum affecting people trying to safeguard their private snatches from an intrusion of toxic MPs. WARNING: Contains upsetting images of Members faces.
7.00pm Upstairs Downstairs
Episode 2012 The Rt Honorable Gideon screws the lower classes, whilst Second Lieutenant (Failed) Maude makes a tactical error by ordering hundreds of thousands of conscripts to waste days hanging around petrol stations, causing terminal loss of loyalty.
8.00pm 60 Minute Makeover
Can Nick Clegg shake off his cheap Liberal Democrat veneer to wallpaper over the cracks and paint himself blue in just one hour?
8.05pm Cash In The Attic
The Chancellor of the Exchequer invites us to one of his castles to explain why he isn’t rich enough to pay the top rate of tax.
10.00pm Escape to the Country
David and Rebekah enjoy a nag whilst riding in Oxfordshire.
11.00pm Total Wipeout
Live coverage of thousands of people queuing up at various airports in order to leave the country. (Repeat)